Fraternity History & More

I am mourning my friend Mary, a sister in P.E.O. She joined her mother’s P.E.O. chapter when she was a freshman at the University of Nebraska and she remained a loyal member for six decades.  Recently, she served a second (maybe third) stint as our chapter president when the nominating committee was having a hard time finding someone to take the job.

A drama teacher before she retired, she could give impassioned reasons why important parts of the P.E.O. meeting required memorization and not merely reading from a booklet. “Of course you can memorize, everyone can memorize; just do it!” she said. It was in a teacher’s voice, said with authority. Not everyone believed her, but she gave them no heed.

The last time I saw her was when she called and told me she would be picking me up for the June P.E.O. meeting (if I wanted a ride). As she stopped in my driveway after the meeting she mentioned that she would be going up to Barnes Hospital  that week for some a routine procedure. Unfortunately, when she left for that visit to Barnes, she never returned home.

She was the last of my chapter’s founding members. When we celebrate 50 years next spring, it will be without her telling us the story of how the chapter was formed. It is the only one of the four P.E.O. chapters in town with a night meeting. After her move here as a young bride, she became an unaffiliated member  paying dues to International but not belonging to a local chapter. When Chapter KL was formed, it gave her, a high school teacher, the opportunity to again be an active member. She liked to say that the group was elated when they discovered the chapter designation would be KL. Mary said it stood for “kind and loving.” She did not say “no” when asked to do something for the chapter. This spring she signed up to host a meeting in the fall, do the program at another, and she was serving as a representative to a Round Table of the four chapters in town.

I often wonder what makes someone a loyal member of an organization. What makes a person find time in their life for all that goes with being an active, engaged member of an organization? What makes someone pay dues for 60 years? Sign up to host meetings. serve as co-hostess and present programs? Isn’t it easier to sit home, read a book, watch television, knit, do nothing? And why did we not find the time or reason to honor her, save for the certificate the convention delegate picked up at the state convention and presented to Mary at the meeting in June? Maybe we would have done that when we celebrate our Golden Anniversary in the spring. Alas, it is too late.

P.E.O. wasn’t her only community involvement. She was an active member of the Jackson County Stage Company and was slated to direct one of the coming season’s plays. It was under her presidency that the Friends of the Carbondale Public Library created a plaque to honor Lifetime members prompting many patrons to contribute at that level. When the Friends give out their book scholarships in May, we’ll have to find someone else to attend the awards ceremony at the high school. Mary was always willing to go and give out the awards, even when the president (me) had no good reason for not doing the task. When SIUC halted the summer play series at McLeod Theater, she was one of the people who came together and brought the series back to life. She was active in her church. Like the Energizer bunny, she kept on buzzing around. Doing good, telling stories, prodding others to do this or that.

With Mary Boyle’s passing, there will be a void in many organizations in town. And there will be a giant hole in the lives of her two sons, Micheal and Steve, and Steve’s wife, Jane. Mary’s beloved granddaughter Lacey, died 17 months ago, at age 23, after having lived with Rett Syndrome, a neurodevelopment disorder characterized by the lack of any verbal skills. Although Lacey could not speak, she was expressive. Lacey’s death hit Mary hard. I can only hope Mary and Lacey are talking up a storm together, making up for lost time.

(c) Fran Becque, www.fraternityhistory.com, 2013. All Right Reserved